Lenka - Everything's Okay

Keep giving me hope for a better day
Keep giving me love to find a way
Through this heaviness I feel
I just need someone to say, everything's okay

Woke my weary head
Crawled out of my bed
And I said, "Oh, how do I go on?"
Nothing's going right, shadow's took the light
And I said, "Oh, how do I go on?"

Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

Keep giving me hope for a better day
Keep giving love to find a way
Through this messy life I made for myself
Heaven knows I need a little

Hope for a better day
Keep giving me love to find a way
Through this heaviness I feel
I just need someone to say, everything's okay

I gave my hope to you
When you were early through
And you said, "Oh, I can't go on
Well, now I need it back
'Cause I have got a lack of all that's good
And I can't go on

Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

Everything's okay, everything's okay
Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

After a Hurricane Comes a Rainbow

I had a terrible nightmare which it becomes a reality two weeks ago. I'm not gonna tell u what the story is because it's very embarassing for me and until now i still can't believe i can experience bad thing like that. It was the worst thing that happened in my life. At that time, my heart full of sorrow and pain. Because of that nightmare my hardwork not paid off, my self esteem fell, i feel so embarassed, i didn't know what to do, and my head full of negative thoughts that i can't control. I started to blame myself, everybody who didn't want to help me, my enemy, and i started to afraid meeting everybody eventhou it's my bestfriends or my friends. I started to freaked out if all of my friends knew this story they will underestimate me and they will see me as a junk. So I decided at that time to turned off my phone. I did that for my own good, i didn't want to be in under pressure, i want to the situation calm down first until i can show up in front of public & my friends again and with put some smile in my face, and tell them "it's okay it's my lesson learned, i'm fine guys so don't worry". So, finally i made it to turned my phone off for a week. Yup it's killing me, but there's no other way i guess. I didn't want to hear a negative thing that can bring me down when i'm not ready, but when i'm ready i will take all the consequence that i have to accept. For a week all i'm doing is just stay at home praying, reading bible, searching entertainment from tv, internet, and calling fristine ameylia which is my closest bestfriend. After the situation is getting better, i start turned on my phone, and meet up with my few bestfriends. And after the situation is already better i start to go online, tweeting in twitter, show up in public, and meet my lots of friends. It was a hard time for me but now it already past. I'm glad that i can trough that hard time. I thankGod for everything He has given to me, He also give me strengh to face my problem, and He also give me a way out from my problem. I also Thank my family for being there for me, they're always helping me to find a way out, especially my mom, she has so meritorious to me. Thankyou so much mom, u are really my helper, i don't know what my life can be if there's no mommy in my life, i'm thankful i have u. And last is my bestfriends and my friends who keep support me behind my back. Thankyou still carring and worrying about me, i love u guys so much. Also i want to thank Fristine for hearing me out, give me a motivation, and praying for me. Thankyou all for everything, without u all i can't trough this nightmare.

Dear Pakde Tio

It's been view weeks or a month you've been passed away. I can't even meet you at the hospital for the last view days when you was alive. For me, the greatest missing is when I lost someone and they would never comeback again. When you were alive I forgot about you, but when you are gone I realize that you are important to me. All I wanna say to you is just I'm sorry uncle. I done wrong. Please forgive me and I want you to be happy now. I know you will be happy in heaven with Jesus Christ. Goodbye uncle, I will never forget ur kindness. Love, Kezia

Finally!

FINALLY my school is over, the exam has end, and I'm freee! Wohooo! But, there's one thing left... Yep the result! I quite scared with the final result, am I pass the 11th grade or not? I already try all my best to past this grade, and I really really hope that I'm past. Please God, I'm begging You. I don't wanna be failed. I sacrificed everything to past this grade. I've been studying like a crazy woman, spending my time at my private teacher's place, trying to understand hardly every major subjects, don't go anywhere, losing my times with my bestfriends, and lots. I can't describe everything here. All my goal for now is just passing grade 11th, get accept by the foundation, and go to the university in UNSW, Australia. Please God makes my dreams become reality, I want to know that I'm worth it enough for myself, my family, and my friends. I want to be a worthful person for everybody, also I want to be appreciated and loved by the people around me. The battle isn't over yet, but it's now times to rest for a month and have fun, i have to prepare for the next harder battle.