Blessing In Disguise

Gue gatau kenapa ya, rasa nya beberapa tahun ini terasa berat banget. Dulu tuh kaya nya semua nya gampaaang banget. Apa yang gue mau selalu ada di depan mata gue. Apa yang gue mau selalu terkabul dalam sekejap. Kaya nya hidup tuh indah banget hahaha. Mau nakal dikit ato males2 an ky gmn pun tetep jalan nya mulus dan orang tua gue selow. Sadly, it was. Tapi skrg? Yailah boro2 nyet. Hidup gue berubah hampir 180 derajat. Gue kira tuh dulu hidup gampang ya, omaigadhhh ternyata tahun2 terakhir ini itu membuktian pikiran gue salah loh. Its totally wrong.

Hidup itu susah, hidup itu keras, dan butuh perjuangan. 

Well, pertama nya gue gatau kenapa, tapi gue rasa skrg gue tau knp. Ini mungkin karena doa dari orangtua gue, terutama nyokap. Gue lately suka ngerasa, kenapa sih hdp gue lately susaaah banget. Kaya gue ngelakuin sesuatu, mati2 an tp the result itu ga reach my target. Like i said before, maybe itu krn its not what i want the most in my life, gue ngelakuin itu hanya sekedar ngelakuin unt nyenengin org tua. Like something u do, without a purpose. Ya gue mikir nya, mgkn dr sana ntr ada jalan nya buat wujud in impian gue buka restoran, which is in the real life its not that easy dari sini ke sana trs ke sono locat2 gt kaya kutu.

Secondly, Tuhan maybe mau bentuk gue dengan cara nya Dia, karena jujur gue orang yg susah untuk dikasitau bahkan kadang keras, sampe2 kdg orang tua gue angkat tangan, dan mungkin mereka berdoa sama Tuhan supaya bikin gue jadi anak yg saleh. Well, i know whats mommy pray for me, every night she prays for me to change to be better, terutama jadi anak yang saleh dan berkenan sm Tuhan. Dari dulu tuh doa nya kaya gitu. That's why. Kakak2 gue jalan nya mulus2 ya. Itu yg awal nya yg bikin gue bingung. Ternyata emg nyokap gapernah doain kakak2 gue kaya gue secara khusus ke Tuhan, paling nykp cmn blg berkati mereka spy berhasil udh done. Ya krn emg gue yg plg beda, mrk penurut, ga kaya gue suka ngebantah, suka ngelawan gt deh sering sm bonyok dulu. This is the main part of this topic. Gue bakalan nge bahas lbh lanjut di paragraf selanjut nya. Here we go..

Udah beberapa tahun ini, tepat nya mgkn 2 tahun ya. Its been hard. Gue awal nya gatau kenapa dan masih aja dengan dongo bertanya tanya sendiri dan mencari jawaban sampe akhir nya bang! Kemaren ketemu jawaban nya pas lg ngerenung pas nyuci piring hahaha. Gue kmrn merenung, like banyak bgt, well, udah bbrp hari sih, tapi Tuhan baru ngasih jawaban kemaren. My biggest question itu ya, 'kenapa orang lain itu ga baik ato lmyn baik walaupun ga sebaik gue tapi jalan nya mulus2 aja? kenapa orang lain kyk nya hidup nya enak banget? like they always can get what they want.' Jawaban nya ya satu, yaitu orang tua mereka ga doain mereka kaya org tua gue ke Tuhan hahaha. Udah thats it, done. Itu jawaban nya hahaha. Tapi gue tetep percaya loh dengan begini Tuhan mau ngebentuk gue jadi seseorang yg berguna someday. Karena Dia buat gue tiap hari belajar, bersabar, bertekun, dan berdoa. Gue totally berubah from my bad habbit karena dituntut keadaan dimana, gue mau gamau harus ngelakuin itu.

Bukan nya gue sok wise ya tapi hahaha really dude, its been hard for me. Dimulai dari masalah yg dateng pada awal nya, orgtua gue jadi lbh protektif, banyak ngelarang ini itu, tapi disitu gue pertama belajar untuk ngedengerin mereka. Gue takut aja kalo sampe gue ga nge dengerin lg, something worse would happen. Dari situ mata gue mulai terbuka, mereka juga ngasih kesempatan emas sama gue seburuk apapun gue, yg mostly anak lain gabs dpt. Disitu gue belajar banget bersyukur dan berterimakasih punya org tua yg selalu baik dan Tuhan yg selalu nolong. Moreover, punya sodara2 yang selalu back up gimana pun keadaan gue juga adalah suatu anugrah. Futhermore, punya sahabat dan teman2 yg baik, yg slm ini selalu mengiri langkah2 gue, ketawa curhat cerita apalah segala mcm jg bagian dari berkat Tuhan yg bkn hidup gue semangat walaupun susah nya kaya apapun. Also, ga punya pembantu selama beberapa bulan ini buat gue belajarrr banyak bgt. Belajar rendah hati buat ngebersiin rumah, belajar melayani org tua, bljr sabar. Tp belajar toleran yg plg gue tekanin disini, dimana di saat gue udah capeeek banget tapi gue ngeliat org tua gue lbh capek dan sakit2 an, dan ga mgkn bgt gue biarin mereka yg kerja, akhir nya gue yg take over pekerjaan rmh mrk. Lastly, punya hati dan jiwa yang tegar menerima kegagalan tapi tetep pantang mundur dan punya tekad untuk ngewujud in cita2 gue juga adalah berkat yg luar biasa yg ga semua orang miliki.

Ini yg mgkn bs dibilang blessing in disguise. Gue patut banget bersyukur dikasih semua nya, well, except keberhasilan yg blm bisa gue capai skrg ini, tp beside of that gue complete. Pacar? Hahaha gue blg itu hal yg secondary bgt ya. Org gue ngurus diri sendiri blm becus, maybe thats the last thing i would concern about untuk skrg ini. This morning also i spoke to my mom about this. Gue blg sm dia, pelajaran ini emg mahal harga nya dan mgkn dengan kegagalan yg kedua kali ini gue baru bisa melek selebar lebar nya, terutama keubahan gue gabisa dibeli dgn apapun. Mgkn ini emg udh rencana Tuhan untuk bkn gue jadi pribadi yg nurut org tua, sabar, rendah hati, toleran, lbh deket sm Tuhan, dll. Gue minta maaf atas besar nya uang yg dia keluarin unt kegagalan gue. Gue bener2 pgn berubah dan pgn bener2 terjun ke interest gue di LCB. Moreover, gue pgn minta restu dari dia. After gue ngmng itu, my mom blg sblm gue ngmng ini dia ngerasa hubungan dia sama Tuhan hambar krn dia kecewa byk harapan dia ga terwujud, apalagi ngeliat result gue kmrn hahaha. Gladly, krn gue ngmng ini shes grateful gue berubah dan dia blg itu ga ternilai harga nya. Dia bakalan dukung gue completely di jurusan yg gue mau ambil dan dia mau nganterin gue ke Aussie kl bs. Dia baru nyadarin rencana Tuhan dibalik semua ini, dia bener2 bersyukur&berterimakasih sm Tuhan. Can u see how glad i am? Im so glad! Also very very grateful to God. Gapernah nyangka bakalan bisa kaya gini. Semoga cita2 gue untuk sukses dan nyenengin org tua gue terwujud someday. Gue ga bakalan prnh nyerah untuk ini. Fight for future keji!!! :)

God's Plan

Seperti yg gue blg sblm nya, jujur gue kecewa dgn result exams gue, tapi jurusan ini adalah kemauan nyokap gue. Gue tau dia selalu pengen yang terbaik buat karir gue di masa depan and well, untuk pride dia juga sih hahaha tapi realita berbeda dengan ekspektasi. Gue udah berusaha semaksimal mungkin untuk nurutin dan bahagiain dia, yah tapi mentok juga. Mulai dari jurusan ipa krn dia pgn gue jd dokter gigi trs mentok, mulai dari jurusan commerce buat ambil business ato finance ato accounting tp mentok. Jujur keahlian gue di masak dan emg gue cmn pgn punya restaurant bercabang di banyak negara someday. Ga prnh kepikir jd dokter ato org2 yg tiap hari menghadapi angka. Tp buat nyokap gue apaan sih yg gabakalan gue lakuin, asal dia bahagia, senyum dan ga marah2. In fact, manusia boleh berencana tapi Tuhan juga yang nentuin. Dia paling tau yg terbaik buat gue, Dia paling tau apa yg gue paling mau dalem hidup, dan terutama Dia tau talenta gue dimana. Mau berdoa sampe jengking jengking kek kalo dia ga kasih ya engga hahaha, jujur gue udah bljr bgt smp les segala, doa trs2 an jg loh sampe nangis2 spy result exams gue bgs dan diterima di UTS, tp toh tetep juga ga tembus. Itu arti nya Tuhan emg ga kasih, mau gimana lagi. Tapi dari hal itu gue tersadar, gagal ga berarti bego, gagal ga berarti kalah, gagal ga berarti gabisa bangkit dan gada jalan lain. Gue gagal karena itu bukan passion gue aja. Its not something that im good at. Ada org bilang, orang bakalan sukses dimana dia lakuin apa yg dia sukain. Kalo org itu ga suka, dia gapernah bakalan bisa sukses. See? Itu udah jalan Tuhan bgt. Dari kejadian ini, banyak bgt yg bisa diambil hikmah nya. Dengan kejadian ini, orang tua gue jadi lebih tersadar dengan keinginan gue. Mau ngelakuin apa juga, kalo Tuhan ga berkenan ada aja jalan ditutup. Thanks God, dari sini saya belajar banyak, saya bakalan menekuni apa yg Tuhan udah percayakan. So ini kesimpulan nya :

 Fyi , gue jadi utang S2 nih di Usyd ato UTS major business ato project management sm nykp. Yah gapapalah gue bakal ngelakuin apapun buat org tua gue bahagia, semoga yg nanti ini Tuhan berkenan yah. 

Back Up Plan

The result of my final exams already came up. How was it? Hm, don't try to make me answer that. Well, its disappointing. Actually the result its not not that far away from my target, but it still not enough to get in to university that i want. Moreover, many of my uniprep friends change their plans too because the lack of score. Its sad to see that. I was hoping that we can smile together by seeing our results and be happy together because we get accepted in university or diploma that we want. In fact, the reality is not as same as i imagine. What can i say? Well, in my exams I've  tried my best and pray to God, wishing for His help, but i said to Him that i surrender all my life in His hands, whatever will be will be as He wish cos only He knows what the best for me. Therefore, He has a different plan for me that i believe it is more beautiful than i imagine which is my back up plan. My back up plan is LCB (Le Cordon Bleu). Yap, maybe I'm not in to UTS or insearch with major of business or finance, but I'm in to LCB. LCB is a culinary school from French, they have a branch in Sydney, Australia. In there, I'm gonna take diploma of cuisine cooking and after that I'm gonna take bachelor of international restaurant management. What do you think? Its better for me or not? Well, in reality my passion is cooking. Honestly, I'm sad that i can't get in to university that i want. There are three reasons of it, which is, firstly, my hard work is not paid off. Secondly, I'm wasting my parents' money. And Lastly, i disappointed my family, esp my mom&my bro. U guys have no idea how it hurts my heart. This is the second time i fail. This making me more traumatic with study&exams. This make me having more doubt about my knowledge. The more i fail, the more unconfident i am.

But, i can't live like that. I gotta be strong. This is a real world, this is a real life, this is a war, and this is a battle to success.

In fact i gotta say 'screw all those things, i gotta nail em up'. So, my back up plan is my third chance to be succeed and this time i won't let me and my parents down. I promise to give my all to be success. I will try hard and no mumbling even its as hard as swimming in a shark's nest hahaha kidding i mean as hard as hiking in a mountain. With God, i can face it and i believe in that. In conclusion, i will get in to LCB. I cannot wait to begin my journey there. I cannot wait to do many experiments and cook all those cool ingredients. Wish me luck people :)

Fyi : I'm gonna departure on september cause I'm taking oct intake, still haven't find the date yet. I'm gonna confirm u guys again. Escort me to the airport on the H-day!!! :3

Message to uniprep friends : For u that get accepted in university or diploma that u want, congrats! Well if u don't, same as me! Ahaha kidding :) Cheer up guys, just find a way out. There always a way out in any problems. Be strong, be brave. In the next chance, don't let it fall again. Keep the spirit up, we can do it! Remember that there are many ways to Roma, it means there are many ways to actualize ur dreams. Never give up :D

The K's Classics

Finally i can do my hobby without wasting money, instead I'm earning money while I'm on my holiday.

Im selling cakes, cupcakes, & chocolate now! Whoop whoop! The price is affordable & the cakes taste delicious. Visit kezie's classic cakes & order ur cakes now :)