"Food doesn’t taste better or worse when documented by Instagram. Laughter is as genuine over Skype as it would be sharing a sofa. Pay attention. Take in nature, hold someone’s hand, read a book. But don’t ever apologize for snapping a photo of a sunrise after a hike, or blogging about the excitement of having a crush, or updating your goodreads account. All of these things are good and should be celebrated. Smile at strangers on the sidewalk and like your friends’ selfies. It’s all good for the human spirit. "

"Ignoring your passion is slow suicide. Never ignore what your heart pumps for. Mold your career around your lifestyle not your lifestyle around your career. "

"I can honestly say the best thing I’ve ever done for myself is not give a damn about anyone’s opinions or misconceptions about me."

"If you look at the fact that you have a roof over your head, food to eat, that you are young and beautiful and live in a peaceful land, then no, you have nothing to be sad about. But the fact is, we are not only a physical body, we have souls too, and sometimes our souls get sick. If you break a leg you don’t just say ‘I have no reason to have a broken leg’ and ignore it; you seek help. It’s the same when your soul gets hurt. Don’t apologize for being sad. "

"I don’t know what’s worse: to not know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be, and feel alone. "

An Answer to My Emptiness

So this sentences that literally opening my eyes. 


"And I am thankful for every lessons, every heart break.
 For those lessons purpose was not making my life bitter, nor close my heart.They come into life just to reveal another layer of myself and then leave. Their purpose is to shake me up, tear apart my ego a little bit, show me my obstacles and addictions, break my heart open so new light can get in, make me so desperate and out of control that i have to transform my life. And I do.
"

Do you get the message of that? For me those words so powerful. So strong, knocking my heart. 

It is human's message of improvement on their life. Everyone's who is struggling so much to reach their dreams must be can really feel those words. Especially when you need to deal with the real world, which is facing lot of people its never easy. 

And honestly, I've been there. Like a lot. Even still now. Somehow, i think its like repetition process of life. No matter what stage you are. Keep falling, learning, and improving.

Well is funny how everyone try to convince me that i am almost complete, life shows me that is definitely not. Why? Because I realise especially I need to learn more about love. 

Brain and heart suppose to be working together. When brain working more than heart, you achieved your goals but you lose your empathy. When you use heart more than brain, you become fool and can be manipulated by everyone. For a while I've been using my brain too much and forgot how to love. And I want to learn to love again. Learn to love God, family and others without forgetting my responsibility.


Yes, you could say almost all my wishes had been granted. Especially for girls on my age who I found mostly are very different from me. Still lot more to work on tho. Im young and still 20. 

But God never answer about love of my life since I was teenage. Maybe I have learn to love first, then He will answer for my prayer. If I'm having Mr. No one now even, maybe I will still feel lonely and couldn't keep him in my life.

God is so good to me. If I don't Him as my guidance, I will be turning into those people with cold hearted. Who achieved their goals and have everything but don't understand about love.


Well everyone has different story and opinion, but this is mine.

Grieving Heart part 2.

Day by day i can feel that im sad. I can feel that i am fragile. It is undiscribeable why. Most of it because everything. Everything that i work on it seems useless, lonely, no one to cheer up my gloomy days, no shoulder to lean on everytime i want to take a little rest, no ears that ready to hear my worriness and sad stories, no jokes to bring out my wild laugh. I lost faith in life. Tears from eyes cant stop running down.

You may asked, "how come a girl like her could be sad? A girl like her have pretty face, tall body, have nice curves on her body and money that she earned by herself. What she missed?"

Or

"How come girl like her that everyone know so strong and stubborn could become so fragile?"

The answer i dont know. I even wonder why. Maybe human dont builed to be strong forever. There will be time for them to fall, depressed and be weak. For that i am been pushing myself so hard, still cant reach everything tho. 

I just hope this is only for a little while, because i wanna try again tomorrow. To work harder, to see better days, and to achieve the rest of my goals that i havent achieved.