My facts #2

Im the kind of person who easily move on with any kind of problems. ThankGod, i don't hv characteristic that over stress when i hv to dealing with problem. But the inhibition is, sometimes I'm just the way to relax and not making my problem priority, except the time is already limited. There r positive side and negative side in my personality. If i can only combinate my characteristic and the circumstances with well managing, maybe my life will be awesome.

My Facts #1

Every little progress that i made means everything for me, while people often don't see it. But in the end when the progress already seen, they smile and say, "wow ure so different, ure right.."

The Truth is.. #2

ppl mostly think if someone changes into smthg better its because the better circumstances, but they don't know hard work behind it.

Nothing Gonna Stop Me from Trying

The Truth is.. #1

If u really want to do something, u will find a way.
If u don't, u will find an excuse.

Greates Gift :')

My dad gave me the greatest give that anyone couldn't give to another person, he believes in me.

The Best Guy I Ever Known

From any kind of guy friends that i have, only him who understand me the most. He's one of my real best friends. When I'm down, he never leave me alone, he stays beside me and cheering me up. Even when I'm crying, he always try to calm me down, with many kinds of way. As i remember, he always made me smile everyday, even made me happy and always laughing. I just miss him. So much.
Now we don't talking anymore to each other. I hate that. I promise myself to stay away from him, becos he already have a girlfriend and I'm afraid to ruin his relationship. The fact is i have feeling for him and i also hate it. It makes a gap between us.

Now, i miss him so much. Why? I feel lonely. I never found a replacement of him. I think i could never find a guy bestfriend like him in this world, never. I feel the boundaries between us is just so strong, u know. Ive never been so honest to any kinds of guy, except him. Only he's the one who understand me and never insult me. I oftenly feel every guy that i ever met or even the closest one in my hs/college will never understand me. They never tried to know me as he does. Maybe they never accepted me for the way i am as their close friend. I feel they only beside me in happy times, but not in sad times. Maybe in other words, they use me just for fun. However, I also miss his kepo-an character hahaha. He always kepo cos he cares. And fyi, he's the nicest man I've ever known.

No any other guy can beat ur kindness, mate. Welldone, proud of u somehow hahaha. If theres award for the kindness guy in the world, definitely i would vote for u hahaha jokiiing theres no kind of award like that :p

Now, I'm in the sad moment of my life part 2. But my college friends seem didn't really care. It reminds me of him. The one who always ready beside me, in happy times and in sad times. The way his cheering me up in sad times its so unordinary, maybe its another reason i miss him now hahaha. And he never ill feel to me whenever he sees me crying hahaha, he keeps on beside me and cheering me up. It is make him different from another guy, really.

Guy like u r so hard to find, mate. So, its true what wise people said, only true friends who would willing to stay beside u when ure world fallin apart.

Well, thanku for being part of my life. I will never forget u. Maybe ur one of the best things that i never had, but I'm so thankful for every memories that we ever share together. U really give me an illustration of what kinda man that i should find for my future husband hahaha. Its not about perfection, but its about understanding between a person to another to make a perfect chemistry.

Motivation for Myself&Others

In the terms of changing the habit, we all trying to find a question from the experts. The most anonymous question is, "can I change into a better person?" The reality is :

"Don't ask anyone u can change or not. They don't have the answer. Just ask urself or even dare urself. Only u who know u the best."

Well, that is my opinion.

Its Time to Change :')

Have u ever felt something terrible hits u and then u realised how u need God in ur life? Well, this is my second time. At this point i realised only God that really2 can help me and i also have to sacrifice everything, even people that i love to reach my goal. I wasted so many times in my life. I wasted my time for fun. In case i need to study more, instead of playing around. Well, i do many improvements from a day to day in study, but its still not enough. It is still far from the expectation. And the most hurtful feeling that i knew yesterday is, all this time i was tricked by my mind. My mind always fooling me. My mind always said negative thoughts rather than positive and its making me cannot move on. As example, when we are running, our body are tired and then our mind keep saying, "stop running, ur too tired!" But the truth is we can still keep going, because even our body is tired they are able to run for a few minutes more. Thats the way my mind fooling me. Its just one example, theres still another 100 examples or more that u can figure it out by urself. So, lets back to my topic. I don't have motive to mumbling on this post, i just wanna tell u whats happened in my life and so this is for my reflection too. Like i told u, today is my second failure of my life. I just saw something that shock me as hell, which is my gpa score. Today i feel like I'm the dumbest person on earth. Maybe its my mind trick me again but the result said so. Enough with the complaining about my self. For me, the score it is not that important, I'm not gonna use it anyway, i just need foundation as a place to study so i can take my diploma. The more important is my pride, i will be under estimate by my friends if they knew my score. But theres still time to fix it. On my semester 2 i will not let my gpa score be so low like this. Therefore, the most important is my parents. I'm sad that I'm not capable enough as a child to make them happy. They give me everything, but look what I've done to them? Nothing. Only dissapoinment. It seems i take it all for granted. But the truth is not, i tried to make them happy, but my hard work still not enough. When i they knew the result that I'm failed, they keep courage me to reach my goal. The money they spend for my education its not cheap, even its so expensive. I shame to myself, really :( They sacrifice they're money for me & put a high expectation on me, but I'm not capable till now. They supposed to mad at me, but they didn't. It hits me and making me realise theres no love as big as ur parents do. Its true. At the lowest point of ur life, they the one who beside u and courage u the most. Mommy even still give me everything that i want. I will try my best in this semester 2 to get high gpa. I will study everyday. I will not playing around and meeting my friends anymore. Its no use. Its only wasting money and time. I need to use my time only for study, study, and study from now on. 

Dear mommy and daddy, i promise to make u happy someday. I will try hard, so hard to make u guys proud. I won't disappoint u guys anymore. The price u pay for me, someday it will be worth it. And i want to see both of u smile big my graduation day in university. I hope someday u both will very very proud of me.

Dear God, i know life its not easy. Please give me strength to do all this things. Please help me handle everything that i cannot reach. I really2 need u in my life, Father. Only You, The One that i can lean on, The One that can grant all my wishes. Father, please help me to through all my days, i want to be a successful carrier woman in the future and make my parents happy. I surender all my life in U, Father. Maybe all this times U haven't gave me boyfriend, its because i haven't become a responsible girl yet. Im not mature enough. I imagine, if i have one now, maybe my life will be much failure and my parents will be much much much sadder. I understand now, why til now i haven't got any boyfriend yet. But when its the time that i already responsible enough for my life, would u give me a man that I'm dreaming of, God? Cause that is what i want and I'm waiting for from 7th grade.

Seneng vs. Sedih

Haiii semua! Hari ini gue mau nge post pake bahasa indonesia, bolehhh dong? Hahaha udah lama ya ga cerita2 pake bhs indonesia, sok bhs inggris bgt gue hahaha. Maafin eja deh :')
Ohyaaa, btw hari ini gue mau cerita antara seneng dan sedih loooh?! Mau tau?! Mau tauuu?! Hahaha sok asik gt ya gue, hmm seneng nya hari ini gue dipindahin dari C4 ke C3. ThanksGod doa eja dikabulinnn! Yippieee sekelas brg lg deh sm Susan Hioe dan ga forever alone lagi hahaha hmm tp rada sedih juga sih kasian Bram sm Andrew tertinggal disana, slmt berjuang yahhh boys in C4, i know u guys can do ittt! Biar kalian rajin gt cerita nyah disanahhh huahuahua *evil laugh*. Sedih sih ninggalin kalian, apalagi si Bram yg suka bacot dan ga jelas but somehow ur jokes work mannn to me hahaha trs si Andrew yg hobi ngomentarin org dan kdg omongan nya suka pedes -.- But somehow he can be nice sih hahaha. Hmmm gue bukan nya seneng jg ninggalin kalian di C4, ya tapi berhubung gue dilema dengan suka sendiri dan kesepian, so i think i deserve it lahhh move to C3 again, imma girl not boy gitulohhh :p Fyi, slm gue di C4, i had fun with u guys lohhh, thanks btw udh mau nemenin gue ketawa, main, lunch, duduk sblh gue, dengerin bacot gue yg bodoh, bla bla blaaa... Walaupun kalian suka nge bully gue tp u guys make me laughs hard hahaha. I know gue byk dongo dan salah nya hahaha dan kdg ngeselin, maafin gue yaa boys! U guys rock! ({})
Hmm trs mau cerita lg nihhh, td kan ke ws trs ketemu ekky didit puspa. Td sempet ngakak2 sm didit dan 'ekky bokong' gabuuut hahaha mrk tuh penghibur bgt ya sumpah, apalagi si ekky dgn nunjukkin video2 gajelas nya hahaha dasar si bokong emg gabuuuut parah. Lumayanlah mrk menghibur hari gue yg emg agak2 garing somehow hihiii~
Eh sama mau cerita lagi dooong, ini sedih nih hmmm jadi cerita nya gue kesepian gt deh haha curcolll. Hape gue akhir2 ini sepiiiii bgt, sumpah :'( Orang2 pd kmn sihhhh. Ky nya udh pada lupa ya sm gue, udh pada punya kehidupan sendiri2. Mana gue makin merasa gue ky bujang lapuk :( Berhubung gue punya kebiasaan skrg maleeees bgt bbm org duluan kl ga penting, jd nunggu org yg nyapa gt dulu dehhhh haha emg itu nama nya careless ya? Dohhh tau deh pokok nya gue sedih, kemana sih orang2, kemana sih cowo2? Btw, kok skrg gada cowo yg deketin/bbm gue ya? HAHAHA aduh kasian deh eja sepi ga lakuuu. Tp sumpah sepiiii bgt hape gueeee!!! Gue sedih ah hahahaha! Bbm gue dooong syp aja hahahaha! Kl bisa yg ganteng ya hahaha! Gadeng canda, syndrom kesepian ini :''')
Udah ya curhat nya sampe segitu aja, hbs nya gue bsk encounter dan blm ngerjain buku hahaha mana belom nge blow lagiii, kan eja harus keliatan cantik biar cepet dpt pacar? Huahuahuahua :''') Desperate nih cerita nya, jangan ketawa lu lu pada yg baca ini. Sialan emg hdp gue, sepi bgt hahaha. Yaudah, i hv to go now! Ciao! <3

Single on 14th Feb 2012?

If u single and the month of febuary is comin, esp day of 14th, u must be agree on this HAHAHA :')

The Feeling of Loneliness

The last time I remember I was bad at making friends is when I'm 5th grade. Since then everything is fine. I started to can adapt with ppl around me. I can gain lot of friends in anywhere. I even become happy to be me. I pass my junior high school with bunch of friends. Till now, i still feel like jhs is the happiest moment of my life. I gain lots of friends there, laughed everyday, felt that I'm kinda funny which are can make a jokes and entertain ppl, can sat in dpr, etc. Everything was perfect there. If in high school? I had no problem at all. Till now I still hv a girlfriends who ready 24/7 to hear my story, we r still in contact, and sometimes we meet each other. Love them so muuuch. But everything changes. I'm not a jhs' student or hs' student anymore. I'm a college's student called uniprep. Everything was fine until I moved to class C4. First of all in C3 it was perfectly fine. I have lot of friends in there. Everybody in there can accept me. But since I move to C4, everything changes. I be friends with the boys. Sometimes I hv to accept a fact that they like to leave me alone. Its different with a girlfriends that can stick around with u everywhere. Morever, the originals girls from C4 they already closed to each other. So its kinda hard to socialize and be one of them. Actually, there's one girl from C3, but she's not kinda girl that fit with me and she has an old friend in C4 that make her easier to socialize with the other girls. I feel like a trash in C4. Really, I do. For the second time in my life, I feel I'm no good in socialize. Whyyy? Why this happen to me? What's wrong with uniprep and the world? What da fuck. My life is miserable in here. I just need a girlfriend like susan hioe (my close x-classmate) to be my classmate or anyone that can be my girlfriends so I don't feel lonely in C4 plsss. I've tried to socialize with the original girls from C4 but its epic fail hahaha and its kinda akward. Somehow we just don't fit. We have different lifestyle, different type of socialize, different interest and loads. The point is I don't hv a topic to talk to them, they don't even try to talk with me. They just answered my question. Hahaha.. What a pathetic me. I can't even make a jokes to them. Its gonna be so crispy. Ya, so my life is ridiculously pathetic now. I just sad with this situation. So sad. There's still 4 moths to go and I hv to be like this for 4 months. Pls wish me luck ppl and i hope everything changes into smthg good :''')

What I Hate The Most

Do u know what i hate the most? Getting fatter. Yup, nothing as i hate as getting fatter. Its killing me. Ive been lost 7 kgs one week ago and then now i think my weight increased by 2 kgs. So pathetic, right? Omygoshhh, i dont know what makes me eating eating and eating like this. Its been a long time im not doing that. My appetite is slightly increased nowadays. Maybe its because my period is gonna come or because im sick or maybe because im stressed. Stressed by who? Its a secret :p However, its been 3 days im eating like a pig and feeling extremely fat. I just need diet and exercise again but time always be an obstacle. Sick of my body. Everytime i look into the mirror, i see big fat ugly kezia. And im not confident like i always do. Please please please dear me, please losing ur appetite, eat less, eat fruit everyday, drink lot of waters, and exercise a looooads. I dont wanna see myself like this, im so embarrased with myself and ppl around me. Please keziiii decrease ur weight immediately!!!

New Class, New Habit?

Okay. Today is the second day of semester two in uniprep. Theres two commerce class actually in uniprep, which is C3 and C4. I was the member of C3 back then, but the class randomized and now im the member of C4 :(

Its making me kinda sad. Why? Theres only 2 girls and 3 boys from C3 moved to C4. And now, i only be friends with the boys. Yup, the boys is fun buttt sometimes they like to leave me alone. I understand fully that girls and boys cannot be together all the time, different with girls & girls or boys & boys. Moreover, im separated with susan hioe. Shes my closest friend in uniprep. And the girls that original from C4, somehow i feel like the way they look at me is kinda intimidating. Some person are nice and some person are not, i believe. Im not kezia that 100% confident in the class anymore. Its kinda sad u know? :(

I just want back to the C3 again. So i dont feel like alone.

But, theres benefit that im moving to C4. Maybe i could get smarter in there haha, the class is just the way to silent. Okay, enough with the sharing. The conclusion is i have to change. Now, semester two is so much harder than semester one, i gotta study hard. I have to stand up by myself, since theres no one that i could ask to teach me in C4. I dont want to be under estimate by my friends and i have to reach my goal. That's all :')

Girls Love Shopping

After exams is over i got recess for a week. Its such a relieving knowing the pressure is over. I work so hard on it. After through a bad times, finally theres a good times! Shopping with mum! I shopped a looots!

First of all, i shopped in next level. I bought super cool blouse, cardi, t-shirts, tops, &bag. Wooow its such a heaven for me. Personally, i spend 500 hundred thousand rupiahs for the goods and the rest is mom's money hahaha. Wiwiwiw sooo happy. Till now, i haven't used all those new clothes, its just the way too much :p

Secondly, i shopped again yesterday hahaha! At summarecon mall serpong. Its kinda shocking me that the goods in there is still on sale. The brand one with big sale. What kinda girls that will not going crazy in there? Hahaha. Me and my mum bought a looots of things again mihihi. I bought 2 jeans, coloured black and blue. Finally i bought jeans! Love the jeans so much, hihi. Morever, i bought necklace and top. Also my mom bought herself a top, bought sis some skirt, and bought daddy some shirt. Hoho. Otherwise, I'm planning to buy flat shoes but i haven't got the right one in there :(

However, now i have lot of clothes to wear, so happy i can do mix and match with the new stuffs. My style is classic and classy. I love fashion and i love to be fashionable. My fat body will not be an obstacle for me to look good. Thanks God and thanks mum for giving me a lot of goods to wear, I'm so thankful.

Btw, next level indo and summarecon mall serpong is highly recommended for shopping. So, girls what are u waiting for? Go get the stuffs before its run out! Happy shopping :)