Nothing Free in This World

Hi again, this month I often post stories to my blog. Its not just because this is holiday, its because I have many times to realize much things.

Today I just realized, in my world there's nothing free. Accept, breath. Its a gift from God to every creature in this earth. Different with many people in this world, I have nothing to be proud of. Every things that I have, even my body, there's nothing naturally perfect in there. From head to toe, I have to pay for it. Pay doesn't only mean pay with money, but it also pay with hard work. I was born perfect with no defect, but when I'm growing up many things that is not going well as I imagine. From I was child, I'm ugly and fat. Many children dislike me at that time. I'm struggling to make my looks better and better each year. I pray to God for beauty. He answers it. But, it needs hard work too. People don't know how many sacrifice I made. How many tears falling down and how many sweat wasted on me. I work hard on everything, even on my body. I'm not as lucky as everyone else. If u see me right now and u amaze the different in me in a view years, this is called hard work. But I haven't work very very hard. My appearance still usual. Far from perfect. I just lose 5 kgs and still 10 kgs to go. I'm dreaming of can use every clothes that I have in closet, I'm dreaming of can buy many clothes in the store, not just good in eyes but the brand one. Hahaha I'm dreaming of many things but it is so hard to come true. I have limit in my physical appearance and in money. I really realized about that. Moreover I want to tell u about my limit in my appearance. My face is very sensitive. It has to be taking care very carefully. My hair, it is like hagrid hahaha, but now I blow it every time after I washed my hair. My body, I need to do exercise to reduce my fat. I even can't eat any kinds of food. And there's still many parts of my body that have to be taking care of, I can't tell u all, its gonna be too long if I put it into a words. If only, I was born with thin body and pretty face, I bet I would be a model hahaha. Such a ironic isn't? What I just told u is just about my physical appearance. I haven't told u about my ability in my study. ThankGod I'm okay with my social life now. If I'm not good at everything I bet I would kill myself right now hahaha kidding.

Now I want to tell u about my ability in study. I'm not smart enough like my friends. When I was child, I done many wrong things such as eat many unhealthy food, watching tv and playing games in large amounts of times that can effect stupidity. Hahaha it is my faults, but it is not fully my faults. There's many factors in my circumstances that can make me like this. Busy family, they left me to maid. They gave me every food that I want, because of guilty feelings they were too busy to taking care of me. But it just a past, I already forgive and forget. Now the problem is I'm just an ordinary girl with a big dreams. I have many many dreams, I want to be able to do many things. The problem is I have many limits. I can't count on to my family, they have limit too. They are getting older, each year their limitation increases. I have to be mature each year too. Many things cannot describe by eyes, it has to describe by feelings. It is so true there's wise man said the biggest battle is what I know vs. what I feel. Back to my topic, despite of everything I never give up to study, even my brain is so-so or sometimes it's below average hahaha. No matter how hard it is, it is my responsible to my life and my parents. Like the title, there's nothing free in this world. To get everything we must pay. Pay with everything we have. 


Note this people, I don't wanna give up on my life. No matter I failed one thousand times, I will never give up to try. I want to be success. I want to be something I've been dreaming of. That's all I want. I don't need recognition from other people. People can talk what they want. All matter is me and my family.


To people who don't know me and judges me. Go talk as much as u want. U don't know how I feel. It is hard to be me. In my weakness, at least I still try. But, I don't care with those people. They don't have mirror. They think they are perfect. That's fine. Maybe I'm not as perfect as they are, but note this every people can changes. Everybody can changes when there is a will. U will be amaze when u overlook the progress from people who have a will. It can changes slow or fast, depends on that person, how big is their will. Even if, it changes slow, it can be slowly but sure. 


Let me tell u, I talked like this it's not because I'm not grateful, I am. But, I just want to share to everyone about my journey of life. I haven't arrived to my target yet, I'm still on my way and I'm struggling with it. But, I am proud to be Kezia Joviana Kristel. God makes no mistakes on me. He just wants to mold me to be something beautiful. No regrets in my life I become me. Also, I am thankful I still can laugh everyday no matter how hard life is. For me, smile its a give and laughter is a blessing from God.


So people let's never stop dreaming, ur dreams can come true. Keep doing what's right and stay away from what's wrong. U don't know what may happen in future. Cause God sees what u've done and He has ears. Words also have power. He will listen to ur pray and when its time He will grant ur pray. If its not worked as ur plans, it means He has a better plans for u.

My Brother is The Best

Sooo, i want to tell u about my brother. He is such a nice person and very sweet to his little sisters. Now, he already work in Sydney and he likes to share electronic stuffs with his sisters. He likes to bought us apple products. My sister already got new itouch and mac mini, but she also share with me.Yesterday i got a shipment from my bro thru riana's parents. He send me a laptop from aussie wohooo. Thanks a lot bro! Actually i ask macbook pro from my parents view months ago, but they said they would buy me that later as my present when I'm in to the university in aussie. So i told to my bro i need laptop for my foundation course and he said he would give me his laptop later. One day after my bday he send me his laptop. Even he just gave me the usual macbook, it is so sweet isn't? He said its my present for my bday. Awww i love my brother the most! Once again thanks a lot kak nathan, i love u so much :) :* ({}) <3

Be Better Than You Were Yesterday

Disappointment. Thats what i feel. From family and friends. Theres conflict between my hearts telling me they shud be care otherwise the reality is not. My mind blaming myself but i dont find something wrong with me, did i do wrong to them? Did i ever talk wrong to them? I dont think so. Am i bad person? If i am, is it that bad? Or its they fault? Or this is the circumstance fault? I dont know.
The truth is, yesterday was my birthday and just a view ppl care about me, several of my bestfriends become a bitch. Idk, but i just feel like that. And many ppl who usually greetings me not greetings me anymore this year. My family like usual, they often careless. Even in the end they treated me dinner. Why i say careless? Because they didnt congrats me directly on my bday (except my brother, he called me from aussie in the morning), every year they never concern about surprise and at that day they still annoying. Well, it is not what i imagine. I hate the feeling hunger of care from everyone around me. I mean, where is people attention on my special day? When its their turn, i always pay attention on it, esp my friends. Its weird, u have so many friends but just a little amount of people who care to u the most and they on holiday hahaha what a joke. Wheres the rest of it? Hello? Im surrounded by massive amount of people but I feel like have no one. Today i pull out every shit words that comes thru my mouth to my sister, which is 'being popular is important'. No, it is not that important. It is fun to have lot of people surround u and have many relations in ur life. But the most matter, they are real or not? Or they just shadow who came into ur life and they will disappear when ure not around them anymore? Being popular is just temporary. All we need is real friends. Real friends, never leave u. They will beside u when u are in the greatest moment of life or in the lowest moment of life. And even when time flies and ure not together with 'em , their love for u never fade away. Now, i change my statement, 'having a real friends it is the most important things in ur life'. To get many real friends, all u need to do is being nice to every people around u. Theres no advantage of being mean, it can only decrease friends from ur life. If I was mean in the old days, im sorry. I was blind by 'feeling more' from the another humans, which they are not as lucky as me.
Enough with the talking things, im tired of it. I dont even wanna prize this again. I am person with too much expectation. In the end, i get dissapointed. I dont want to rely on anyone anymore. I also have lesson learn from my mom, shes now 55 years old but she has too many expectation about her life to every person in her family and she get disappointed. She even rely the most to the partner of her life and she still get disappointed. It is something, right? That's why I dont want to rely on anyone, I just want to rely on God and myself. This is the climax time of my life. I learn many things on my 18 bday. Now, as i cant expect many things from anyone, let me taking care of myself. Lemme prove, my life is something that i can be proud of. I wanna be one thousand times better than before. I wanna concern on my future. I wanna be dilligent, pretty, lose 10 kgs, i wanna get a great quality boyfriend, i wanna earn money by myself, and loads of things to wish for. But i cant just only wish, thats a things i MUST work out. Many ways to achieve it, its only matter of time. Also, the most importing of my life right now is; i have to success on my foundation course which is get GPA over 8.0 and get in to UTS. I have to go to Aussie next year. My study in Aussie is my turning point. I want to prove to everyone, that i can. I can be better, i can be mature, and even i can be more success from everyone who under estimate me. Im different, i may have a failure in life, but it doesnt mean im fail. Life still goes on and when still there is a time, we still can repair everything.

Best People in Moi Life

Dari semua sahabat yang gue punya, cmn ada 3 orang yang paling berkesan dalam hidup gue. Bukan nya mencoba untuk mebeda bedakan ya, tp emg bener. Kerasa bgt effect mereka di hidup gue dan gue bener2 enjoy kalo ada mereka. Kalo kita cerita ga cmn basa basi aja tp beneran dengerin dan saling ngasih advice. Rasa nya kita tuh kaya ada magnet nya gitu haha lebay. Ga dari dulu pas SMA sampe skrg masih aja rasa sayang gue mereka ga berubah dan juga rasa sayang mereka. Kalo udh ketemu mereka bakal heboh bgt deh, apalgi kalo ngabisin waktu seharian brg mrk, rasa nya heaven bgt. Sumpah ya, gue sayang banget sama mereka. Kalo sampe gue udah pindah pasti gue bakalan ngerasa berat banget ninggalin mereka :'(

Ini nih si Fristine, kalo ada apa apa selalu aja gue ke Fristine. Terus dia kalo suka ngajak pergi bikin gue plg telat mulu trs diomelin mama deh hahaha :p

Ini si Jasmine, si wise&smart one, ohya dia jg lucu bgt hahaha dan selalu aja kl kt bercanda bs nyambung & ngakak terpingkal pingkal 

Dan ini adalah vita, dia pendengar yang baik banget. Kalo cerita sama dia rasa nya nyambung bgt. Tp skrg jrg ngmng sm dia, kpn nih vit ngobrol panjang lg? Hahaha

NEVER GOOD ENOUGH?!

I always ask why to myself; why no matter how hard ive tried, i never been super fantastic. Boro2 super fantastic, good enough aja jaraaaaaaaaaang bgt HAHA. Super rare. Bisa diitung pake jari kali. WHY WHY WHY AND WHY????????? Everybody seems fine with their life. Its not that im not gratefull, but i just sad with 'so-so' result. Good is quite enough, but so-so.... IT IS NOT FINE. Tired of it. I just wanna live with love and no regrets. Yeahhh hahahaha, mulai ngelantur nih. Gue cmn pgn hdp normal yg fine2 aja sih hoho, but am i asking too much? Well, i know life its not easy and theres lot challenges in it dan kt cmn liat org lain dari luar doang, ga nyampe dlm2 nya. Gue yakin sih semua org punya problem. It is life and thats how it goes. Fuhhh, capek ya idup hahaha tp byk seneng2 nya jg sih. Gatau diri lo emg kez, minta di kill :p Ohya gue jg mau curcol nih. Also, lately i always have many things to do but so little time. Back again its my fault who really bad at managing time.

Ok stop complaining, THINK POSITIVE!!! +++++

And i have message for myself : KEZI SADAR WOY SADAR!!!!!!!! WAKE UP FROM UR DREAMS, IN REAL LIFE U HV TO FIGHT FOR EVERYTHING THAT U WANT. START FROM URSELF. STOP DEMAND EVERYTHING FROM UR PARENTS, PLEASE BE INDEPENDENT AND MATURE. LIFE WOULD BE MORE EASIER & BEATIFUL IF U SEE NOT JUST FROM ONE PROSPECTIVE, TRY TO SEE LIFE FROM MANY PROSPRECTIVE.

Hahaha okay peopleee may be u think im crazy talking to myself, but this is how i motivate myself. I put it in my blog so i wont forget what i have to do. This is not just for me, but this can be for everyone who need motivation. Keep ur spirit up guys, we can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Ohya, btw kmrn gue denger pendeta kotbah dan gue lg kosen bgt gt dehhh haha trs he said that kalo kt ngelakuin sesuatu dgn totalitas kita akan dapet hasil yg maksimal, but if we dont dan cmn ngerjain nya setengah2 ato ga sampe total (nanggung lah bahasa nya) well, jangan berharap dapet hasil yg maksimal. So, it is a good advice for me and i hope this can give u new prospective of life too.

Have a great day everyone, adios amigos!

Ps : maaf bhs inggris indo dicampur campur, sbnr nya pgn post pake bhs inggris cmn berhubung ini udh malem dan gue lg capek mikir so yaudah campur campur aja hahahaha really sorry for the inconvenient

26th Nov was Perfect

The night before 26th nov, me and jasmine had looong conversation until 3 o'clock in the morning. Its been a long time we're not sharing. Im glad to hear her good story, shes in love hahaha. LOVE HER! We laughed a lot, shared a lot, and she boosted my mood up \☺/

Here's our photo together :

Me and Jasmine

At that night, I told her 'I will try to meet her tomorrow', the exactly date is Sat 26th Nov 2011. Finally, I can meet her and fristine also wohooo its been a long time we are not meeting together. Actually at that date, I don't plan to spend the day with them, but end up with I did hahaha. We met at mcd kemang, moved to lacodefine hope that we got something to eat there, but in the end we didn't eat anything. After that, fristine decided to take us to her home and she promised she will bring us to pim. At fristine's car we talked a lot and laughed a lot. She said I'm not funny anymore, but in her car and her house, I can make her and jasmine laughed. See fris? I'm not that garing, I just need time to make u funny jokes after we haven't seing each other for a long time :p and btw, I had funnn. Miss them so muchhh.

Here's our photo at fristine's car :

Fristine&Jasmine. Love them sooo much :') :* <3 

Fristine&Jasmine with Me

When we were still on the way to pim, vita told me that now she is at pim with diandra and gitta. OMG, I'm so happy, I'm gonna meet my girls. Too bad, jasmine can't join us, because she had to buy a new phone. The next thing me and fristine got to do is to meet vita, diandra, and gitta. When I saw vita, I ran to her to give her a hug. I miss vita so much. After that me and my girls had late lunch and took view pictures together. Vita told me tasya and brendy also gonna come, but I can't meet them because I said to my mom and dad that day I won't come home late. And also udu can't come too. So I can't meet tasya, udu and brendy. It's sad riteee? I wish I can meet all of them. Despite of everything I AM HAPPY, because I've met fristine, jasmine, vita, gita, and diandra.

This is my photo with my gals at pim :

Me with Vita <3

Me, Vita, Fristine, and Gitta

Diandra, Me, Vita, Fristine, and Gitta

LOVE U GIRLS, U'VE MADE MY DAY.

xoxo, Kezia

Oh ya, and I'm not forget to congrats WallStreet pim. At that date WallStreet pim celebrated 3rd years anniversary too. Happy bday WallStreet pim. It's the best place to study english and socialize, well for me. I <3 WallStreet!

The Changes of My Life

It's been 14 weeks or over 3 months I've been study in foundation studies. Time past by so fast, I even dont realize my semester exams almost close. Today, I realized that I feel empty. I feel the world like falling apart into me. I used to feel confident and think like I know lot of things more than everyone, but the reality tells me not. I'm just a piece of crap. A little lack can dispel my confident.

As time goes by, I feel everything changes. At the climax of my confuses, I start to thinking what I've done and try to find out what I'm missing in my life. In this point, I realize I cant tell my story to anyone or my bestfriends directly like I used to. At that moment, I randomly want to cry. I try to strunggling by myself, pretending nothing happened, but I still cant resist my tears, it starts fallin down from my eyes. It wont stop till I'm tired of thinking and fall asleep. I miss my bestfriends so much, I need them, I really do. Moreover rite now, I want their hugs and their jokes, which all they did to cheer me up always works out when I'm crying. I remember back then, we always laugh hard because all those stupid jokes they've made to make me forget my sadness. At that time, all my burden seems become more lightly. Life seems worthwhile. But now everything changes, I'm not around them anymore.

Beside of that, I'm having new friends too. I'm happy but it's not that easy to tell them everything, even if I close to them. I have to preserve my attitude. Also, I have to stick around with one or two people that I don't like. It's become more harder and more harder for me. I tend to be quiet or mad when those two people around. I cant control myself and oftenly I become mean. I hate to do that. But, when it comes to do something that I'm not into it, I always keep a distance from it. I feel now I'm changes not like I used to, I become not very open to my new friends and now I'm very sensitive. Little thing that changes or hurt me, makes me wondering "Is that my fault? What did I do?". Otherwise, lot of things makes me dissapointed too. My school, my teacher, my score, my social life, and even my family. Everything seems unfair right now. I'm not perfect, but everyone always demanding the best part of me. It makes me cannot breath easily.

I often feel seems lot of friends surround me but I still feel empty. I just need someone to lean on, someone to talk to. Someone who understand me very well and that person can remind me if I did mistakes. That person will not leave me, no matter what happen. That person will always stay by my side. Not just in happy times, but in sad times too. "Me and you against the world together". I love that words, not trying to be naive, but that's life I imagine. Well, I hope everything turn out soon into something good and I hope that "someone" can come to changes my life.

Precious and Always Be

Words cant describe how i feel, but all i know i have great bestfriends. They dont changes, i hope they wont. Everyone can changes and they did, but i hope u guys are not like that. Right now i'm crying, its not because i dont like my new life, its just because i miss us, i miss us when we are together, i miss those moments.  I wont trade those moments for anything. U guys have to know that u guys are so precious to me. Whenever with u guys i'm so happy, i can be real me, without covering anything. Lots of u guys know me well inside outside, it makes me so comfort to tell u guys everything, and im happy to hear story from all of u. Moments when we are together now is so rare, but when we met up, i feel so happy. One day can be so precious when we are together, when we talk, when we share our story, when we laugh. I miss those moments keep repeating everyday in high school, because now we aren't together. I hope we all longlast. Please keep this friendship together and please never changes, i always want us like we used to.

Dear My Bestfriends

Dear bestfriends; Now I'm move to the another school. Its sad to leave everything behind, especially leave my best girls. I'm gonna miss you guys so much. I remember you guys were there when I was happy, when I was sad, when I needed to share my story, and when I needed to lean on. But the best moment when I'm with you guys is when we are together, we share lots of story, open up our silly secrets, ask&giving advice to each other, and laugh out loud together. I'm gonna miss break time at the highschool canteen with you guys :'(  and I'm not gonna forget every memories that we had. Thankyou for being my bestfriends all this time. I'm gonna miss you girls so much & even thou we are not at the same school anymore, I hope we still keep up our friendship. I love u all my galsss! *hugs and kisses*

                                    Me and my girls at my 17th bday party

Lenka - Everything's Okay

Keep giving me hope for a better day
Keep giving me love to find a way
Through this heaviness I feel
I just need someone to say, everything's okay

Woke my weary head
Crawled out of my bed
And I said, "Oh, how do I go on?"
Nothing's going right, shadow's took the light
And I said, "Oh, how do I go on?"

Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

Keep giving me hope for a better day
Keep giving love to find a way
Through this messy life I made for myself
Heaven knows I need a little

Hope for a better day
Keep giving me love to find a way
Through this heaviness I feel
I just need someone to say, everything's okay

I gave my hope to you
When you were early through
And you said, "Oh, I can't go on
Well, now I need it back
'Cause I have got a lack of all that's good
And I can't go on

Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

Everything's okay, everything's okay
Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

After a Hurricane Comes a Rainbow

I had a terrible nightmare which it becomes a reality two weeks ago. I'm not gonna tell u what the story is because it's very embarassing for me and until now i still can't believe i can experience bad thing like that. It was the worst thing that happened in my life. At that time, my heart full of sorrow and pain. Because of that nightmare my hardwork not paid off, my self esteem fell, i feel so embarassed, i didn't know what to do, and my head full of negative thoughts that i can't control. I started to blame myself, everybody who didn't want to help me, my enemy, and i started to afraid meeting everybody eventhou it's my bestfriends or my friends. I started to freaked out if all of my friends knew this story they will underestimate me and they will see me as a junk. So I decided at that time to turned off my phone. I did that for my own good, i didn't want to be in under pressure, i want to the situation calm down first until i can show up in front of public & my friends again and with put some smile in my face, and tell them "it's okay it's my lesson learned, i'm fine guys so don't worry". So, finally i made it to turned my phone off for a week. Yup it's killing me, but there's no other way i guess. I didn't want to hear a negative thing that can bring me down when i'm not ready, but when i'm ready i will take all the consequence that i have to accept. For a week all i'm doing is just stay at home praying, reading bible, searching entertainment from tv, internet, and calling fristine ameylia which is my closest bestfriend. After the situation is getting better, i start turned on my phone, and meet up with my few bestfriends. And after the situation is already better i start to go online, tweeting in twitter, show up in public, and meet my lots of friends. It was a hard time for me but now it already past. I'm glad that i can trough that hard time. I thankGod for everything He has given to me, He also give me strengh to face my problem, and He also give me a way out from my problem. I also Thank my family for being there for me, they're always helping me to find a way out, especially my mom, she has so meritorious to me. Thankyou so much mom, u are really my helper, i don't know what my life can be if there's no mommy in my life, i'm thankful i have u. And last is my bestfriends and my friends who keep support me behind my back. Thankyou still carring and worrying about me, i love u guys so much. Also i want to thank Fristine for hearing me out, give me a motivation, and praying for me. Thankyou all for everything, without u all i can't trough this nightmare.

Dear Pakde Tio

It's been view weeks or a month you've been passed away. I can't even meet you at the hospital for the last view days when you was alive. For me, the greatest missing is when I lost someone and they would never comeback again. When you were alive I forgot about you, but when you are gone I realize that you are important to me. All I wanna say to you is just I'm sorry uncle. I done wrong. Please forgive me and I want you to be happy now. I know you will be happy in heaven with Jesus Christ. Goodbye uncle, I will never forget ur kindness. Love, Kezia

Finally!

FINALLY my school is over, the exam has end, and I'm freee! Wohooo! But, there's one thing left... Yep the result! I quite scared with the final result, am I pass the 11th grade or not? I already try all my best to past this grade, and I really really hope that I'm past. Please God, I'm begging You. I don't wanna be failed. I sacrificed everything to past this grade. I've been studying like a crazy woman, spending my time at my private teacher's place, trying to understand hardly every major subjects, don't go anywhere, losing my times with my bestfriends, and lots. I can't describe everything here. All my goal for now is just passing grade 11th, get accept by the foundation, and go to the university in UNSW, Australia. Please God makes my dreams become reality, I want to know that I'm worth it enough for myself, my family, and my friends. I want to be a worthful person for everybody, also I want to be appreciated and loved by the people around me. The battle isn't over yet, but it's now times to rest for a month and have fun, i have to prepare for the next harder battle.

I Don't Want to Forget This Day

Today, I don't know how to describe it. I'm gonna tell my story about him again. I know this sounds naive, but I just want to share my feelings. Today, I cried this noon. I cried for un-important thing, but it hurts my heart so bad. There's someone who mock me which its very mean, that person mock me about my physical appearence, and I'm very sensitive when it concerns about my physical appearence. Because of that stupid simple thing I cried.
At that time no one knows if I cried, except him. When I cried he was seat in front of me, he looked out for tissue to another friends and he gave me that tissue to wipe my tears, after that he accompany me, he ask who makes me cried but I won't answered him but he kept guessing until he knew that bastard names, after that he calmed me down, he told me everything gonna be okay and he cheered me up until I got my smile back.
It's such a releaved that I can share my story to him. By the way, it's not the first time I cried in front of him, actually this is the second times. I know this is such a shame, but what can I do? When I'm sad, my tears suddenly fallin' down and I can't hold it. He's the one who always understand and he always tell me everything gonna be okay.
Lately, I feel like I'm alone and nobody cares, I don't know why but I often feel like that. I'm busy and my super close girlfriends is busy too and we are not in the same class, so now I don't meet them often and now I like to feel that I'm lonely. And lately I like to stay away from people, because I don't wanna be hurt. But when I'm alone or quiet he always come to me and talk about something to me which I think it's unimportant, but it makes me laughed and lighted up my day. I feel he pays attention to me. Because of him, I feel I always have someone to talk to. Thanks God for giving him around me. Even thou we are just a bestfriend, but I think it's enough.
Today, I want to write this feeling in my blog because I'm afraid I forgot about him someday and I'm afraid I forgot what he has done to me, so I just want to say that he is the best male friend that I've ever had and he is such a gentlemant. I'm lucky to have a bestfriend like you. I hope we will be friends forever and you will not forget about me as same as I will not forget you.

"HIM"

Why I fallin' in love with you, my bestfriend? I know you already have a girlfriend and you love her so much. But I can't avoid this feelings. I am no better than her, trust me I know that. It makes me sad that the reality is I'm not good enough for you. I'm far from perfect. I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm stupid, I'm hopeless and not confident. But the question is "Why we have to be so close like these?" I still wondering.You are the reason I want to go to school everyday, I brush my hair every morning, I looking at the mirror every morning, I want to look pretty, I go to saloon and I'm dieting. Because I want to looks good in your eyes. But nothing I can do, you already have a girlfriend and she is perfect in your eyes. If you happy so am I. You are my bestfriend, I'm hoping the best for you. I hope God giving me someone who's more better than you. Not long after our 11th grade we will separate, I'm gonna miss you. Goodbye and goodluck mate! Godbless you always.

Another Big Disaster

HAIII akhir nya gue luangkan waktu untuk ngepost juga, hmm kali ini gue mau mengadu tentang keluh dan kesah gue sebagai murid. Okaaay, so ini hari terakhir gue untuk libur panjang. Kalian mau tau bagaimana cerita gue tentang liburan ini? Hmm liburan kali ini sucksss! Slm gue libur 11 hari kerjaan nya ya cmn belajar les belajar les belajar les sampe mabok. Bahkan gada dvd yang menemani liburan gue kali ini, sedih kan? Banget! Film bioskop? Juga kaga hahaha, suram bgt ya keliatan nya liburan gue. Tp tetep lah gue masih nntn film di tipi. Lumayan lah buat hiburan gue mengatasi kesuraman. Ya emg masih ada jalan jalan juga sih, tapi seberapa sih dibanding gue belajar sm les? Hm emang sedih sih jadi anak dengan otak agak jongkok berjuang untuk bs naik kelas di ipa, udh kaya berperang di medan perang nyet! Hahaha lebay tp kaga juga sih, kalo ditanya gue lebih milih belajar ato perang, ya gue lebih milih perang hahaha, okay skrg udh mulai menyimpang omongan nya. Nahhhh gue mau cerita nih kalo guru guru ipa di sma gue ga manusiawi, liburan dikasi tugas seabrek abrek ga nanggung. Yaa sebagian besar sih udah gue kerjain, tp masih aja ada yang terlewatkan, sengsara juga gue fhhhh. Nah another big disaster nya itu salah satu nya adlh tgs pkn yg emg gue lupa ngerjain dan mana ada tugas fisika kata nya, yg gue emg ga ngerasa dikasih sm guru nya (kaya lo perhatiin aja kez, biasa jg gatau apa apa hahaha) ya ga pentinglah haha. Tapi kata ketua kelas gue yg odong (ups hahaha) ga ada emg waktu awal liburan gue nanya, hayooo siapa yg salah? Hahaha tau dah bodo amat, eh mana bsk ada kabar ulangan fisika tuh guru, YA GILE KALI, mau dpt brp gue bsk, telor busuk? Srah deh, kareb mu kono. CAPEK! Nah itu kata yg tepat untuk menggambarkan keadaan gue skrg. Manalagi another big disaster yang kedua itu berat gue naik 2 kg, ya ampun rasa nya hati gue ky diiris iris, dicabik cabik, dipotong potong, terussssh digoreng (?) lah hahaha maaf gue udh mulai ga waras soal nya ini udh malem. Ya itu bikin gue stress lah, pantesan gue merasa tambah gendut, bete bgttt parah! Terus, terus, terus ya gitu dehhh balik lagi nih ke masalah pelajaran. Nah nilai kimia gue juga lagi kritis, mau nangis rasa nya kalo liat nilai nilai kimia gue gada yang bener. Semester 2 ini remed semua, duhhh gue harus bener bener berjuang buat naik kelas. Gatau lagi gue hrs ngmng apa, gue harus usaha mati matian fhhh (take a deep breath), blm lagi materi pelajaran pelajaran lain yg baru harus dipelajari FHHHH (TAKE A DEEP BREATH). Emg kalo dipikirin trs bisa gila gue, kl gue gini terus bs mati muda kali hahaha cmn hrs pikir positif deh, SEMANGAT!!!! Dan cmn bisa minta keajaiban dari Tuhan, habis ya gimana lagi. Pokok nya gue bakal berjuang mati matian mau gamau, the result? We'll see after the break...Ha? Iklan kale! Hahaha yg bener tuh; we'll see after the final exam. So the conclusion is, "We do the best, let God do the rest." Nah karena bsk gue sekolah, sampe sekian aja deh gue bercerita, next time again. Wish me luck guys! :)

My 1st post

Hey Guys, I'm Kezia. I'm 17th years old now. I made this blog because I want to share my life story, what i see, and what i feel. Which i want to share all those things to other people around me. I have another blog at tumblr, if you want to check it out, just click this : http://kzjk.tumblr.com/

Thankyou!