Don't Look Back

More than a year i live in this beautiful city that i love the most currently. I leave everything that i love in my hometown, included family, best friends, friends, good memories, and bad memories. Every second of my life i miss them, but i have to let it go because i need to go on with my life, otherwise i couldn't make big step forward to my life. I couldn't be a person who keep texting everyone and busy with my social life all the time if i wanna be succeed right? I even likely feel tired already everytime i finish work. Life is a choice. And living my life in this place its my choice, even i have to lost everything that i love the most.

Yesterday my 20th birthday, much much less person who are wishing my birthday. Especially the close ones, they did forget about it. Its sad, really really sad honestly. Or they don't care. It would've be so meaningful if those ppl give you special message or smthg special. But it didn't happen anyway. I cried lol. But thats life. People come and go even the closest ones.

I dont wanna pity my life. I have to let everything go. I know I'm worth it. I may lose all my friends, but i would work my ass off and show them that i could be someone in this place. I would 100% focus and chasing my dreams. I don't want to look back anymore. It way too painful, you know.

Well, I may changed not like the old kezia. But i told you, this kezia is more stronger than before. Lets say hello to a brighter future then, even i have to walk alone.

Story Behind that Smile

There always a reason for me why i love being chef. i know it is very hard and stressing occupation, but it challenge me a lot. I can tell you everyday i learn new things. I always in shit everyday but i learn how to solve problems by being faster and faster each day. I also learn how to use my brain properly to sort the things out. Most of the time i feel too much things to do on my head, but i learn to finish the priority first. Well i can tell each day getting better when I started mastering the section. However most of the time when my head become too full, i feel like retarded and become bit crazy. I started to talk too much, moaning, joking around, talking unimportant things, and laughs a lot. But thats fine, i found lot chefs feeling the same way when they're too tired also. But my current workplace surrounded by good and funny people. Although they talking too much shit plus talk more do less, they give me reason to smile and laughs everyday. Ive worked in crazy restaurant before that made me work like a dog, treated like a shit and get shouted + threatened most of the time. I did struggling by myself everyday by unreasonable working hours. So since that i be able to work under pressure and appreciate what i have now. Now im working in hotel and not in the restaurant anymore, which is great. But lot of chefs say that working in hotel is easier rather in restaurant. I would say, it is not at all. Well maybe the ppl treat other ppl better, but still not easy. Restaurant better in quality, hotel better in quantity. Restaurant taught me to be fast on service, hotel taught me to be fast on prep. But hotel that im working now ask me to do massive prep + service because my section is room service kitchen. Fyi its main kitchen and the kitchen so big, funny thing is only two ppl working in there on the day shift included me. I would happy when its quiet, but most of the time its not. Esp this busiest time of the year for hospitality industry. So you know what i mean im in the shit almost everyday. Moreover we need to cover lot of unresponsible chefs and ppl, so its hard. So i dont agree if they say chefs in the hotel less capable than chefs that working in busy restaurant. All the chefs are hard worker, esp the one that using their brain properly lol.