Its funny how myself turning into 180 degrees. The girl used to be the most cheer up one and seems so happy with everything that she does, become a person she thought she never was.
Start with her career. Its not what she wants to be the chef in the hotel she's working currently. Since she start working in there for short period, she knows there something wrong with it. But she need to stay there for her resume at least a year and they pay a good money, plus she has good team lately. Her passion for her dreams start decreasing, her creativity starts to fade away, she's feeling on the bottom of the world right know. Trying to escape the world she couldn't.
Start with family. She just got left by her brother that having long holiday back to Jakarta. She lives by her own in pretty big flat. All her family gather together in Jakarta seems so happy, while she has to study and work her ass off to get what she wants in life. She is the loneliest that she is ever been. Fighting alone.
Start with friends. There are several kind of friends.
She has massive friends that always talking about their insecurities about physical look. It is important about being good in physical, but they always judge what she eats. Honestly, they don't push her to be good-looking but just surrounded by people like that make her uncomfortable. She can't eat at night and she hate the fact that eating plenty-good-fat food make her gain weight, so she needs to stop. Even tho she already lost lot of weight and working hard, she still need to punish herself of being happy with those food.
And.
She has friends that catch her interest, but can't be close enough with them. Because different. They seems cool and know a lot, but she just doesn't know how to makes friends with them. Anyway they are not that cool, but they do think they are. Everytime saw their posts on Facebook, somehow its killin her because she knows somehow they are one step ahead her. Again, insecurities.
Also.
Friend that annoyed her. This is the kind of people that could make her stress and become sarcastic. Friend that is lazy or think they are the smartest but in fact not or not using common sense. She just turned into bitch when facing this people. This people always testing her patience, when obviously she always tired with work. Giving bad impression of her.
Start with her love life. Its just so hard for her to find the right guys isn't? Most of it are jerks. The good guys are cowards. Making her life more unstable. Her life even more lonelier for waiting the one who fits her heart. She wasted tears even for missing someone and feeling not good enough when she doesn't have to.
So
She start feeling her life unbalanced. Everything seems go wrong. Lonely and insecurities is her #1st rated problem. She starts ignore everyone and living own life by herself. She is wasting her nights before go to sleep with tears. To be judge its hurt, especially with people who knows nothing. But she always be judged. She starts to not trusting everyone and fight the hard life by herself. She is keep trying tho even she is not perfect, hoping she will be reaching her dreams and her finish start. Meeting the right people, also love of her live. People who will see her differently and a man will love her unconditionally.
Again
She is just a girl that trying to be a woman in her young ages, fight demon in herself.
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