My Feeling Lately..

lately everything seems so blur u know? my view point about many people start to changes because i know more about them. its hurt to seeing people that we love around are not like in our mind and are not like we expected to be. esp guys. there are view nice guys that i have as my close friend, i thought they are nice and different. but lately when i know them more, they end up same with another guy. i don't know whats wrong with the world and the guys. they are jerk, u know? i start to not trusting guys, none of them. also, these days many things going on and its crazy. bad things happened eventually. many people are hard to understand. they are seem like person that i don't know anymore. so, it is hard for me to trust anyone, included my family, and esp guys. sometimes i just wanna disappear from this world u know. I'm sad with everyone. there are some days that they make feel like I'm the happiest girl on earth and there are some days that they make me feel like a rubbish. nowadays i even start to backpack on everyone. I'm scared if they will hurts me. I'm scared if i know more about them, it would hurts my feeling more. do u know what even make me sadder? until now i haven't met someone who love me unconditionally. but if i think, how can i expect like that? cause the reality is many people start to ignoring me and don't care about me again, even the close one. everything change. it gets harder harder and harder. i miss everyone. but maybe they don't ever think about me even for a second. i don't know is this just my feeling or is this the reality? because my mind like to trick me. well, i hope this is just my random sad feeling because I'm too tired.