Let It Flow

helo!!! gue kangen bgt loh sm laptop gue. since exam gue ga nyentuh my baby iniii, gue cmn online pk computer kakak gue. nah, gue tuh skrg baru pulang les, capekkk bgt. trs cerita nya bsk libur, jd gue sempet2 in deh curhat bentar di blog ini. sebener nya gue punya banyaaaaak bgt cerita ttg final exams gue which is kinda dissapointing but its gonna take long time to write it and actually I'm too tired now. so, gue cuman mau curhat ttg perasaan gue skrg ya. ttg itu nanti gue post after i finished all of them aja. syp tau miracle could happen, right?

okay. td pas otw ke rmh dr tmpt les, kakak gue tlp, she told me that dia sm mama gada di rmh, mrk pergi. dlm hati gue udh ngerasa aja, yah home alone lagi. papa blm plg. di rmh tuh cmn ada bang bro which is bang brohim hahaha, dia itu kakek2 yg jagain rmh gue. duh boro2 ngmng sm dia, dia tuh ga connect bgt, udh gt dia budek lg hahaha and then dari dulu ga deket. well, hes nice anyway. kalo gada dia disaat saat gada pembantu gini gue gatau jadi nya ky apa my life. ohya! btw i got a maid! tapi cmn part timer gt loh. ga fully nginep serving everyday. duh still need one yg full timer nih, anyone interested? hahaha.

then, back to my story ya. kan gue ky pas perjalanan plg gt merasa kesepian. like always deh kez. mikirin masa depan lg. yup, itu yg sll ada di kepala gue. trs gue jg mikirin org2 lg pada apa. kangen bgt sm temen2 gue semua nyaaa. mulai dari sahabat, partner in crime, temen deket, dan temen biasa. jujur, gue udah lama ga bersosialisasi gr2 exam gue yg ky kentut ini. bener2 menyita waktu bgt. awas aja sampe hasil nya mengecewakan. terusss i feel like lonely and missing everyone gt. parahhh!!! mulai dari katekisan, ws, gonji, dll. mrk tuh bener2 something bgt dlm hdp gue. kalo kata syahrini sih, sesuatuuu bgt gitu haha apasih gue.

hm maaf ya dgn byk omongan gue yg basa basi. inti nya skrg tuh gue lg di rmh sendiri dan merasa kesepian. pengen aja punya org yg perhatiin like frequently. pacar? gapunya nyet hahaha. i wish i have. gebetan? jg gapunya. sumpah hidup gue super hampa. idk whats wrong with me. well, im fat sih. maybe guys jijik liat gue. tapi... knp byk wanita gendut diluar sana bahkan yg lbh gendut or jelek dr gue punya pacar? hahaha gatau, takdir kali ya gue hu. dr dulu pandangan gue itu, guy wants a perfect girl. whether yg jelek ato yg ganteng, mrk mau nya yg cantik hahaha boys lo gatau diri. pergi ke laut aja sono huahuahua. but, bcos of them, im trying to be one of that girl. buttt, ngurusin badan susah nyet. gue punya siklus makan yg tergantung sm mood. gym ga sempet. kan lg exam. trs kalo exam tuh trigger gue buat eat more, cause im having lack of sleep and i need energy. ya jadi gitu deh. so its not easy for me. moreover, I'm getting fatter. pasti gada yg mau sama gue krn enek ngeliat kegendutan gue skrg hahaha. serah deh i need a life brooo. lemme do what i want as long as its a positive thing.

yah yasudahlah, this is my life. i enjoy it anyway. i have great friends. sooner or later there will be someone yg mau menerima gue apa ada nya *yoiii bgt* hahaha. kalo sepi gue bbm temen2 gue aja susah bgttt. i shud find a way to distract my loneliness feeling. gaboleh ngeluh! hrs jd wanita yg mandiri! so, let it flow aja kali yaa~