Thanks Lord :)

This is not about the result of my final exams, but this is about my personal problems with me and my mom. I prayed to God to fix my broken heart and give me a way out, then He answered it & He granted my wish. Moreover, He also give me blessing thru my dad. Im so thankful i have Him. I know He's a great God. He never let me down & He never broke his promises. All you have to know is He only granted everybody's wishes at the right time & at the right place.


So, this is me and my mom's story;

We caught big fight yesterday. My heart was hurt, and so does her. But finally i told my real feelings to her after she mad at me. The hurt feelings that never spoken out, that always i keep it on my own. And finally she realizes that theres something wrong between our relationship, as a mom and daughter.


"Honestly, i feel like my position as her daughter in her eyes are different from my brother and sister. Both of them are so mature, smart, and in front of her eyes they almost perfect. Unlike me. Well, I'm trying to be like them, but sadly, i never reached the standard." 

Im asking my mom to accept me they way i am, because this is me and i cannot be as perfect as them. But, i also told her that i will trying all my best to make her proud. I said I'm sorry for things I've done. I said no matter what happens I'm gonna leaving jakarta, leaving her and this family for good. I just want to fix everything up before i go. I wanna make up this relationship, so theres no hurt feelings and hatred inside my heart that could lead me far away to her.

I also said, "No matter what happens and no matter what you do, i will always love you, mom. Everything that i do in my life is for you. I try to do my best in every chances is for you. My goal is to make you happy someday. Even thou i have ever fall, i would rise for you. So, please mom lets fix our relationship before i go. We don't have much time left. Four months is fast actually and please don't take it for granted."

She cried...

When she cried, it brokes my hearts. It really does. My hatred disappear, it changes into affection and love. I sympathy to her, because back then she doesnt realizes what she did. She asked for my forgiveness. She said she is sorry because cannot be a good mom for me. And she hugged me tight.

I reply her and said, "its okay, I'm used to it. I understand that you already old, so I'm the one who has to tolerated you. I know you got problems and stuffs too. Please don't cry. I love you, mom. Im sorry too for the things I've done wrong."


We make up. She's become so nice now & I'm so happy we could fix everything.

I have ever thought that our relationship cannot be fixed anymore. So i pray to God. I told Him to forgive her, forgive me if i have negative feelings for her and solve our problems if can. But, see, God shown me that theres nothing He cannot do. He can fix anything, He can heal everything, and He could changes something impossible to possible. Thanks Lord, You are amazing. Thankyou for Your presence in my life. Without You, I'm nothing.