About Being Strong in Workplace

I wasn't strong person in the kitchen, really. My first workplace didn't teach me about being strong enough as a chef. They only thought me about being perfect at food which is great. But since moved to The second one i learned a lot about many things, most of it about being strong and brave. Heaps of pressure in there but people around you would love to help you get through it. Thats why i love that place and the crew. It is not easy doing new role as a commi chef, but i know i can do it. Saw loads of ppl running that role also in the company but not good enough, and i start to think I'm glad doing my apprenticeship at my first workplace (even tho Le Cordon Bleu students not classified as apprentice, but i took the job for experience). I think if i could help them and start make a change that would be great. My Head Chef before thought me about being the real chef and how to do everything right. I won't erase that knowledge in the new place, even tho i can. I would love to use that knowledge for the rest of my life.

Now I'm commi chef. Guess what? I don't like it hahaha. Role that i have as a new person in the kitchen is not match perfectly as like in the contract. They said I'm commi, but have to run my section by myself which is more like chef de partie. Thats not right. If I already working there for month or more maybe I could accept that. But dude, seriously, I'm fucking new. Only one ppl that kindly helping me in his small amount of time, another person that should helping me doesn't give a fuck. All she can do is complains. Wtf I'm new, she should've guide me not complaining. I know she's in a shit, with heaps of prep for weekend. But thats not how you train new ppl. No recipe also in the kitchen, wth!!! The Head Chef and Sous Chef is not giving a fuck at all to the new Chefs, only a bit, you can't even count that as a hand to help, but its an order. So what should I do? Of couse i need to be strong. Start being bit crazy also when I have shitloads of preparation to do. I need help, but no hand to help, so i oftenly pissed. Don't wanna be like this in kitchen, but yeah, what can I do really, I only can count on myself. Moreover, I could go even more crazy if i saw cockroaches on the wall of the kitchen! Which heaps of them on there. Honestly I'm scared to the core really, but I could go mad and kill it immediately by hit them with something hahaha. Its called confession of broken heart, when you scared+pissed+mad with everything. So if you are Chef, still new, and not strong in the kitchen, believe me sooner or later you will. The circumstances will make you strong. Well, it depends where you working. If not in your job now, maybe the next one will make you stronger. Because every Chef has their strong side of its own. If not, how you can be a Chef and nailed em up and go through the shit days?